Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Principle 1: I realize I am not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.
I took the above step and principle from Celebrate Recovery since it allows for any habit as opposed to just mine. The notion that one must admit defeat before one can rise in triumph is not new. Many heroic stories follow the same notion where the lead character must hit bottom, before he or she is able to to start on a new path and slowly rise to a new life full of love, friendship and success. The movie I watched last night on Hallmark even followed this notion! A young woman had dreams of opening a business with her soon to be finance who was away for a period of time. Upon his return, he broke things off ending her dream of launching their business and leaving her futureless. She accepted defeat and continued working where she had always worked until she met someone who helped her realize she could start the business on her own via a chance to do work for the town’s most notable resident. And yes, in true Hallmark fashion she ended up with a successful career and a sweet, gorgeous mate to boot.
While life may not always resemble a Hallmark movie, it does parallel many of the themes. I guess we cannot make room for the new in our lives until we relinquish some of the old. I was lucky when I entered the rooms of AA. I already knew I was an alcoholic - I actually had zero doubts about that. I did not, however, see why it was an issue until I was penniless and almost dead. My drinking had taken its toll on my body and my career and I was unknowingly at a dangerous crossroad when my Higher Power stepped in. I knew that alcohol wasn’t working for me anymore and that in my condition, any drug would kill me. I also knew that I couldn’t keep going - my road had turned into a dead end with a brick wall that extended into the heavens. I knew my life was a wreck. I knew that my life was unmanageable. I knew that something had to change… and so I entered the rooms of AA …
Admitting defeat is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. It’s important to know when you can handle a situation and it is equally important to know when you need to ask for help. We do it all the time in other areas of our lives so why not with our mental, emotional and spiritual well being? If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired - you only have one of two options: You can admit that your life has become unmanageable because of your drug or mental issue and accept that you have to change OR you can keep trodding down the road you are on knowing that nothing will ever change.
I admit that I am an alcoholic. I admit that I have amazing self control in almost every other area of my life, that I am intelligent, self-sufficient, resourceful and reliable - except when it comes to alcohol. I take one drink, I will eventually take a million and loose everything including my life. It was scary to admit this, but in admitting this truth I opened the door for a new path to unfold before me.
“I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.” - Robert Downey Jr.
“I realized that I only had two choices: I was either going to die or I was going to live, and which one did I want to do? And then I said those words, ‘I’ll get help,’ or, ‘I need help. I’ll get help.’ And my life turned around. Ridiculous for a human being to take 16 years to say, ‘I need help.’” - Sir Elton John