Nada

What do I want to write about?  I don’t know.  I got nada in my head.  Nada.  I got nada in my life right now too.  Nada.  I feel like I am slowly going insane with all of the nada happening right now.  There is too much nada, but this is how it has to be right now.

The weather is so hot and humid and thick and gross and I have been staying indoors.  Interesting thing is I’ve only had one migraine this summer and one vertigo attack this summer.  I am assuming it is due to the fact that I am staying inside and losing my mind.  My outdoors time rejuvenates my mind and my soul.  It also provides social time and has always been a way for me to make friends.

I am definitely struggling this summer.  Work is absolutely insane right now and I don’t make enough money to be putting up with this shit. It is partly par for the course in higher education.  Summer is always the time of year everyone jumps ship so to speak.  Throw in a restructuring and a lay off and well you have insanity.  I have had to basically recruit, interview, and hire for the entire Athletics department, a quarter of faculty across campus, and many staff for departments that are rebuilding, plus I have all those other day to day things I do that are just not getting done.  Good news is by middle of August everything should calm down.  Bad news is I have to continue this sprint until middle of August.

I really need my nature time, my social time, my go on a little trip time, but I don’t have any of that right now.  I am having to keep in mind that in 6 - 8 months I will be ready to blow this popsicle stand and hopefully enjoy a new little adventure both in career and in everything else.  I’m in the home stretch!  I keep screaming at myself.  The wait is going to be worth it I keep telling myself.  I mean I must have some good Karma coming my way, right?.

The movies lie don’t they?  So do books.  You always see characters hit the home stretch and BAM! Second Wind!  Renewed Strength!  Renewed Determination!  Of course you hear runners say this too and I was never that kind of runner either.  Maybe its just not in my blood to fight so hard.  Maybe I am more of a float on down the river and discover what I discover kind of person.  Nevertheless, I am staying the course and losing my mind in the process.

I’m really hoping for an early winter this year.  Or maybe I should say an early fall.  Here in the mid-south, it will be ugly, humid, and hot until middle of October.  I am really hoping that Old Man Winter pisses everyone else off and comes in early.  I need him!  I need to be back out on a trail, a path, a waterway…. And to do that I need the frying pan turned down a bit.

I don’t know.  This is probably why I have never really tackled all of my debt because to do so means this right here: doing nothing but work.  I need to change my scenery often.  I need to explore a city, a park, go see a show, go be a show…I need to live life and I will do so again… in 6 - 8 months.