Prayer

It hit me the other day that perhaps I am in what I would call an Adult Pruning Season.  A few years ago, a neighbor whacked the trees in their front yard.  And by whacked, I mean they left only the trunk and the stubs of the limbs.  It looked so weird and I laughed at it and wondered why they did that, to those beautiful trees.  Later that year, my mother whacked the rose bush in her front yard and I mean that thing looked like she had flat out destroyed it.  She also took it down to its stubs and I thought it would never bloom again.  But, I was wrong.  I was wrong about both, actually.

Am I those trees or that rose bush?  Have I been whacked to the point of stubs?  Am I to bloom again?  Will my life bloom again?

If you asked me these questions even a couple of months ago, I would have said no. God has been giving me the silent treatment and showing me all of the things I need to fix in my life. Now, I’m in Maybeville. I was crying out to God about one or all of the many things lacking in my life (I don’t really remember) but I do remember a thought that came into my head that wasn’t mine. That thought said, Didn’t you ask to be expedited?  Didn’t you want the fast version?  And the answer is yes, I did ask for just that.  I’m too old to take the slow route!  I need shit to come together.  I don’t have years and years to figure this crap out.  And then I thought about those trees and that rose bush.  The ones I laughed at and wondered why they did what they did to those beautiful trees.  I felt bad for the rose bush.  It was once beautiful and it had been turned into a sad heap of sticks poking out of the ground. I feel like I am that rose bush right now.

The thing is that rose bush did bloom again.  In fact it is the bush I routinely take pictures of because it seems to be on its own bloom schedule and blooms throughout the year in the weirdest times.  It’s very pretty these days.  And those trees?  Well, they are growing, and they were fun to watch grow.  The next spring the stubs sprouted leaves and each year after they began to take more shape until they looked like little trees with a giant trunk.  Who knew the whacking would spur the growth needed to ensure a healthy and beautiful tree and bush.  I guess if you are into gardening you might know that, but what I did not know is that the same applies to us.  At least that is what I am hoping.  That is what the thought that wasn’t mine insinuated.  Perhaps I am learning a lot of lessons at once so I can move forward into the life that is waiting for me.  I can’t see it yet, I can’t even envision being anywhere other than where I am right now, but I am starting to feel that the lessons must be for a reason.  I am working on some defects of character right now.  I am working on focusing on some responsibilities that I just pretended didn’t exist for far too long. I always kept thinking something would happen and I would’t have to worry about those responsibilities, but it turns out I do.  Again, Eminem and one of his songs has become my mantra for 2025.  I literally listen to it every day because I have to otherwise, I forget what the song is teaching me. I do vaguely remember thinking he was cool back in the day or at least I remember my friends and I using the phrase “watch it, I’m from the Eminem generation” that was apparently a threat we would make on the regular.  I don’t remember much else.  Looking into him now, he is a great example of someone who got their shit together, is he not?

My prayers are changing too.  I’m done asking for certain things and getting into specifics with God.  It’s not like it has ever worked anyway and all I do is run my life into the ground over and over again so why am I still trying to be in control?  I’m leaving the specifics to God these days.   I actually got one of these payers from psychic Chip Coffee (again it takes all kinds).  I have begun praying his HASH prayer: I pray to be Happy, Abundant, Safe, & Healthy.  I also pray to be Mentally, Emotionally, & Spiritually Well (& Financially Well too).  I pray this for myself, my family, my friends, and whoever else comes to mind.  Again, a lot of the changes I am seeing in myself right now are internal changes, but those are the changes that make all the difference.  The internal changes are what allow for the external changes.

With everything that is going on in our country right now, and the circumstances of my life right now, I don’t even know what to pray for but those two prayers I shared above seem like a good place to start.  I mean if I am mentally, emotionally, and spiritually well… if everyone around me was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually well…