Daylight is back!  But it came with unseasonably warm temperatures and I don’t know how I feel about it.  I’m conflicted, which is my usual state of affairs.  Summer and Winter are very different seasons with very different activities for me.  And I am, I guess, grieving the sudden loss of some of my winter activities.

I love summer.  I really do.  I need the sunlight and I love the sunlight.  I am a sunlight fein.  Unfortunately, I am also a melanoma survivor which means I have to be careful in the sunlight.  I have to wear hats, use UV Shampoo and Conditioner, wear SPF skin tints and lip balms, and put SPF on every square inch of my body that might get some sunlight.  I also have a predisposition to easily overheating which can cause migraines and episodes of vertigo.  So you see even though I love the sunlight and need the sunlight, I actually stay indoors more in the warm summer sunshine months.  If I do hike, play golf, or go for walks it is usually early in the mornings.  I tend to shift to doing more dance and barre and pilates since they are indoor activities.  My outside time is usually sitting on a patio in the shade or walking around town with friends in a cute dress.

Winter is my true outdoor time.  I will hike, climb, and explore anything and everything when it is cold outside.  I still have to wear SPF, but not as much of me is exposed.  I can go much longer and farther since overheating is not a concern.  I just throw on some gear and go.  Winter has always been my favorite time of the year until I started getting Seasonal Affective Disorder.  I had a little bit of it this year, but I made a concerted effort to mentally and emotionally enjoy winter since it is my time to explore the outdoors.  I have always wanted to live in the pacific northwest - it has always been a dream destination of mine.  I just don’t know if I would survive now, but I am determined to take back my love of winter.

I have always thought we have the time change backwards.  Don’t we need less light in the summer time to help cool off the insanely hot temperatures and more light in the winter to help us survive the crazy cold temperatures and overcast skies?  I just think it makes more sense to flip the whole daylight savings thing.

Daylight savings and Spring is about new - new blooms, new life, new everything.  And I am hoping this spring brings some much needed new in my life.  Specifically, a new opportunity, some new friends, and while I am not looking for a man,  I would’t be bent out of shape if one showed up, probably more surprised and caught off guard than anything. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do with one.   I am just more focused on fixing my finances, and fixing my body at the moment.  It seems I am part squirrel and put on weight every winter and get it all back off by every fall.  I need to figure out how to not be a marshmallow in the summer months.  One could also deduce, that my putting on weight as soon as I start to look like a snack could also be a form of self protection.  It is true I feel safer if I think I ‘m not attractive and less safe if I am looking like a snack.  But this is a story for another day.

I hope everyone is enjoying the new light, the new blooms and all the new that finds each one of you!

I had a very negative attachment that I had to deal with for a few months.  It was insane, had many layers, and involved Zak Bagans.  I also had a side attachment during this time that also involved Zak Bagans.  Is it crazy that I am still curious about going to his museum (if I’m ever in it’s vicinity, of course).  Bottom line is I think people can be manipulated on mental and emotional levels far easier and far more frequently than I ever realized by demonic forces.  It kind of scares me to be honest. I am very in tune with my own energy and the energy of others.  People who are not tuned in (which is a lot of people) may not ever even realize they are being manipulated.

One of the good things that came out of this experience is I learned how to better protect myself.  I use a couple of different visualizations on a daily basis that involves me putting myself and my surroundings in a golden box and surrounding that fortified steel box with purple light on the outside and white and gold light on the inside.  I have also started working with St. Michael, the Archangel on a frequent basis to assist in my protection. 

I have been told by several seers that I have something with me that has been with me since birth.  I don’t know for sure, but it would make sense and it would also make my life make sense.  I died when I was one years old and just always thought that something came back with me, and there is a story that backs that up, but I don’t really want to get into that right now.

While the spiritual stuff has calmed down, life, itself has ramped up.  Between the snow and ice storms, some medical procedures, and my car acting a fool, I have had to put out a lot of cash.  It seems like every time I start to make progress on my financial goals, something happens to just wipe me back out to where I began.  I am working on not taking any of it personally.  Life is life and it will throw you curve balls, fast balls, and foul balls, and you just have to deal with it.  I am trying to be in the mental state of what can I learn and what can I do to prepare for the next round instead of taking it personally and getting emotional about it.

This is something else that I feel has come out of the negative attachment situation.  I feel much more clear headed than I have possibly ever felt.  I am very clear on my goals, and I feel I am very rooted in reality, which has not always been the case with me.  I can see clearly and I didn’t understand how unclear my “vision” has been until I could really “see”.  It reminds me of when I was younger.  In elementary school I had to do these hearing and vision tests every year at school and in one of those tests they found that I could not see shit. Everyone was dumbfounded and asked me why I didn’t say anything.  Well, if you’ve never really been able to see, you wouldn’t know unless someone fixed your sight, right?  I just thought it was really cool that other kids could see the chalkboard, much less what was on it.  I didn’t know.  I didn’t have a reference point.  But once I put on contacts for the first time, my mind was blown.  I could see the chalkboard, I could see down the hall at school, I could see the soccer ball - my whole world changed for the better.

And I feel like this right now.  Whatever that negative attachment was, whatever it was doing, whether it was the same one from the physical attacks I endured about 15 years ago or whether it was another entity sent to plague me - it is like the song says, “The enemy did everything that he could do, Oh, but look what You’ve done”.  I am more clear than ever, more stable than ever, and more capable than ever.  And even more committed than ever to following my own yellow brick road...

I talked last month about being at peace in the midst of the storms and the unknowns life was throwing at me.  And I still have a lot of that peace, but I am finding that as changes come closer the more I lose my peace because my mind starts to swirl creating narratives that aren’t even real.  Maybe they once were, but they are not right now!  So why worry and stress myself out?

These days I find myself bouncing back and forth between peace and too stressed out to think, pray, or care about anything.  I find myself worrying about what’s going to happen when either I or my best friend gets a new job and departs.  I don’t want to be alone again without any friends to enjoy my weekends with.  The truth is myself and my bestie are looking for new jobs and both of us will depart on a new adventure sometime this year.  Yes, it would be fantastic if we both landed jobs in the same area, but I am not sure that we will.  She has her sights set on a very specific and expensive area and she has the means and some other characters to assist on her journey, whereas, I do not.  The entire time I have lived in Memphis I have done nothing but say goodbye to friends who move here and then depart a few years later (often the first chance they get). No one wants to stay.  I mean Memphis is even more transient than Los Angeles was!  In reality, I don’t want to stay either, but my story is more complicated.

This is something else that worries me.  Part of me thinks I should stay here and help my mom and the other part of me says if the right opportunity comes, I need to take it and make it work, wherever it is, because getting solid on my feet is the best thing I can do for myself and my family even if it means leaving an elderly parent.  The job market here is not good either.  There simply isn’t much here.

I also struggle with seasonal affective disorder.  This is a new thing.  I have never had it before in my life.  The last few years have been torture when it comes to winter with the worst being the year before last - I got so depressed I was suicidal and thank God we had an early spring that year and I mean I did a 180 as soon the days started getting longer and warmer.  Whew!  That was horrific. Last year and this year have not been as bad, more mild symptoms, I guess I can say, but still I have symptoms and I’d rather not.

I just don’t know.  It seems like the closer the changes come, the more anxious I become and the peace I have been enjoying is flying out the window.  Any performer, dancer, athlete, speaker… they all know that sometimes you just have to shut your mind off and go, get moving, do the thing and then your mind catches up and calms down.  But in this situation there is no get up and go so I have to work hard to just shut down the thoughts that cause me stress, turn the channel in my brain so to speak. I guess I have to let go a little more…

Things are changing, namely myself.  I am becoming someone else entirely and this new person is so unexpected and out of the blue!  The good parts of old me and the good parts of new me are colliding.  And I have to say I like who I am right now.  In fact, I love her.

This version of me is happy with herself and her life.  She is finding that she wants less and she wants to want less.  She is focused on the simple pleasures and the simple moments.  She is also focused on taking care of herself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially.  She is not searching for the perfect anything because she knows perfect does not exist.  She doesn’t even want a man!  She is sure it would be nice to grow old with someone, but she loves her space and her routines and she doesn’t need that anymore and for the first time in her life she 1000% okay if she stays single.  Just a few good girlfriends is all a girl really needs anyhow.

This version of me is unexpected because for the last couple of years I have been chasing and hoping for the exact opposite.  I wanted the right guy (with a good sized wallet), the right job (in a more exciting industry), the right city (somewhere on the west coast), but now I am happy as I am and with who and what I have.  I am more concerned with quality friendships, and a better job with better benefits in the new year.  That’s really all I am looking for in 2026.

Who knew the yellow brick road would lead me back to who I once was in many respects.  Nothing makes sense either.  I am more aligned than ever with my faith and people like me (sensitives with some psychic medium abilities) are not welcome in that faith and I don’t really care.  The yellow brick road has led me back to the church, back to wanting simplicity and a slower pace of life, and back to choosing my peace over everything else.

I am told I am aligning. My intentions over this past year have been the following:

• Live My Purpose
• Live My Passion
• Live with my Person

So maybe I am aligning with those first two intentions or maybe I am getting into the mental, emotional, and spiritual space to manifest or co-create those intentions in my life.

And it has not been all rainbows and sunshines either.  I am just at peace.  I am at peace even though I have been facing a new health scare (a second type of cancer that also wants to be stiff armed as I mosey through life) and racism and disrespect at work (I mean I don’t know what else to call it at this point - the President has doled out raises to practically everyone and rejected mine 3 times). It is time to go, but I can’t go right now because of said health scare.  As soon as I am able, I will start looking again, but this time I am okay if I end up staying right where I am for a few more years.  It’s not the end of the world.  I am at peace and I am open to what drops in my lap next.  I am no longer chasing, I am attracting whatever the next right thing for me is and I am okay with the not knowing.  It is time for me to relinquish control.

I have come to realize that energy affects me in ways I never really realized.  I mean I have always known that I can have trouble in really crowded places or in spaces like flea markets where there are a lot of items that have been passed around for years.  I had to actually run out of a flea market once because my antenna was just too full.  At least that’s what I thought at the time.  I’m sensitive.

I can hold two blades of grass in my hand and feel the vibrational difference between the two.  When I meet someone I know without a doubt if I like them or not.  I might not be able to tell you why I don’t like them, but I usually find out.   I can walk into a place and get vibes, mental pictures, hear things, etc.  Once when I traveled to the St. Louis area, I didn’t like the energy.   I could even feel when I crossed into a different energy plane so to speak and I literally hated the energy.  Luckily it was a short trip.  I haven’t been back to this city and I am curious to see if it feels the same way to me now, though I would need to go back to the same exact area I was before and I don’t remember where it was I went.

I was guided to start using a moon stone three times a day, placing it at my head, heart, and lower abdomen for 5 to 10 seconds each.  I was told this would help with my temper.  I followed the guidance not expecting much because nothing has worked with my temper, but you know what?  This worked!  It kind of floored me that perhaps energy I was collecting throughout the day was the cause of my temper.  As I have said before, I know I have  some psychic ability and some mediumship ability, but I still didn’t know or understand how much energy was affecting my day to day life until I started using the moon stone.  I am a completely different person now.  No amount of therapy would have ever helped me, because it was an energy thing that I didn’t understand and still don’t to be frank.  I just know the moon stone works and I continue to use it daily, as directed.

Something else I think the moon stone has helped me with is my addictive tendencies.  I am not kidding when I say I have zero desire for any mind altering or mood altering substances.  I don’t even use adaptogen drinks any more.  I actually don’t want anything mood or mind altering in my system.  It’s like the feeling it used to give has been erased from my mind and the only thing I remember is being held captive by the next feeling I was chasing.  Like what a horrible way to live.  I look at people now, regular people who are not addicts or alcoholics, but do drink or smoke or what have you and I feel sorry for them.  Whether they know it or not, they are chasing a feeling and I don’t want to ever chase anything again.  I don’t want to ever be in a situation where I need something to feel okay.  That’s not okay.

I don’t know that I am an empath although I share some of the affects like being overly emotional and thought of as stone cold by most.  What I do know and call myself is sensitive.  In my mind, I am aware of things that others aren’t, I can sense things that others can’t, I can hear things that others can’t, and I can see things that others can’t, just not all of the time.

I’m literally kicking myself right now, actually.  For the past couple of months, I have wanted to go to a particular store to see if they had some black Brighton sunglasses and I never went.  The feeling kept coming and unbeknownst to me, the 80 year old owner was closing the store and I would have gotten the sunglasses at 50% off.  I really need to listen more. I also need to pay more attention when spooky things do happen around me.  I need to turn on my radar (that’s what I call it) and investigate.  I think this is going to be my intention for 2026.  Last weekend, a friend and I went hiking and we had something walk up on us in the forest and I didn’t even think to try to sense, connect, see…  I just noted it and went on with my hike.  For 2026, I want to listen to the nudges, pay attention to what keeps coming to me, and when something spooky happens, acknowledge and investigate it.  And for the love of God and all living creatures everywhere, I will keep using my moon stone.  I had it for like a decade before I found out why I really bought it. I’m still dumbfounded by the change in my attitude and personality.  Who knew it was energy affecting me all this time.  It also makes me wonder if other people have similar problems and just don’t know it.
                                               As we say in church, Peace Be With You.✌🏻