I have come to realize that energy affects me in ways I never really realized.  I mean I have always known that I can have trouble in really crowded places or in spaces like flea markets where there are a lot of items that have been passed around for years.  I had to actually run out of a flea market once because my antenna was just too full.  At least that’s what I thought at the time.  I’m sensitive.

I can hold two blades of grass in my hand and feel the vibrational difference between the two.  When I meet someone I know without a doubt if I like them or not.  I might not be able to tell you why I don’t like them, but I usually find out.   I can walk into a place and get vibes, mental pictures, hear things, etc.  Once when I traveled to the St. Louis area, I didn’t like the energy.   I could even feel when I crossed into a different energy plane so to speak and I literally hated the energy.  Luckily it was a short trip.  I haven’t been back to this city and I am curious to see if it feels the same way to me now, though I would need to go back to the same exact area I was before and I don’t remember where it was I went.

I was guided to start using a moon stone three times a day, placing it at my head, heart, and lower abdomen for 5 to 10 seconds each.  I was told this would help with my temper.  I followed the guidance not expecting much because nothing has worked with my temper, but you know what?  This worked!  It kind of floored me that perhaps energy I was collecting throughout the day was the cause of my temper.  As I have said before, I know I have  some psychic ability and some mediumship ability, but I still didn’t know or understand how much energy was affecting my day to day life until I started using the moon stone.  I am a completely different person now.  No amount of therapy would have ever helped me, because it was an energy thing that I didn’t understand and still don’t to be frank.  I just know the moon stone works and I continue to use it daily, as directed.

Something else I think the moon stone has helped me with is my addictive tendencies.  I am not kidding when I say I have zero desire for any mind altering or mood altering substances.  I don’t even use adaptogen drinks any more.  I actually don’t want anything mood or mind altering in my system.  It’s like the feeling it used to give has been erased from my mind and the only thing I remember is being held captive by the next feeling I was chasing.  Like what a horrible way to live.  I look at people now, regular people who are not addicts or alcoholics, but do drink or smoke or what have you and I feel sorry for them.  Whether they know it or not, they are chasing a feeling and I don’t want to ever chase anything again.  I don’t want to ever be in a situation where I need something to feel okay.  That’s not okay.

I don’t know that I am an empath although I share some of the affects like being overly emotional and thought of as stone cold by most.  What I do know and call myself is sensitive.  In my mind, I am aware of things that others aren’t, I can sense things that others can’t, I can hear things that others can’t, and I can see things that others can’t, just not all of the time.

I’m literally kicking myself right now, actually.  For the past couple of months, I have wanted to go to a particular store to see if they had some black Brighton sunglasses and I never went.  The feeling kept coming and unbeknownst to me, the 80 year old owner was closing the store and I would have gotten the sunglasses at 50% off.  I really need to listen more. I also need to pay more attention when spooky things do happen around me.  I need to turn on my radar (that’s what I call it) and investigate.  I think this is going to be my intention for 2026.  Last weekend, a friend and I went hiking and we had something walk up on us in the forest and I didn’t even think to try to sense, connect, see…  I just noted it and went on with my hike.  For 2026, I want to listen to the nudges, pay attention to what keeps coming to me, and when something spooky happens, acknowledge and investigate it.  And for the love of God and all living creatures everywhere, I will keep using my moon stone.  I had it for like a decade before I found out why I really bought it. I’m still dumbfounded by the change in my attitude and personality.  Who knew it was energy affecting me all this time.  It also makes me wonder if other people have similar problems and just don’t know it.
                                               As we say in church, Peace Be With You.✌🏻

There are two things I know for sure in this world: God exists and so does the devil.  How am I so sure of this you ask?  Well, I have had experiences with some very powerful angels and some experiences with some not very nice demons.  Both changed me.  And I’d take the demonic a million times over because that’s how I got to experience the presence of a very powerful angel.  I’ve actually had three angel encounters, but two of them left me with a feeling I can’t even describe and it stayed with me for days.  The only thing I can tell you is that there is nothing, no drug, no nothing on this planet that can compete with that feeling and I have to think if Heaven is even a smidgeon of what I felt well then, Heaven must be HEAVEN.  Like I said there are no words to describe, that feeling.  None.

I feel privileged, lucky, and sometimes fated to have felt these powerful beings and to have been the witness to a miracle in one of those instances.  I got to see prayer work in real time and I was the only one, in a large room full of people, who knew that an actual angel came as a response to a prayer.  I say fated because I am one of those wandering souls.  I am always wandering.  I am intellectual, spiritual, creative, and curious and my heart always wanders, but as a result of my experiences I always take one person with me: Jesus.  I have no doubt in His power.  These experiences have provided an anchor in my life.  No matter how far I wander I will always have Him with me.  I can’t not, actually.  I still have experiences of the negative kind and I have to call on His name often and He always answers with an Angel. Every single time.

I guess I needed this grounding, this protection, this boundary for I have quite a wild and wandering heart even if my life reflects the opposite.  I have always said I am quite the conundrum.  I live my life conservatively, but I am quite liberal in thought and creed. I honestly don’t know what would have happened to me without these experiences, without this knowledge and experience of Jesus really being the name above all names, the power above all powers.  Yes, I could have done without the negative, the demonic, the oppression and depression and aggression and addiction, but I wouldn’t have the Angel and trust me that one Angel made all of the difference.  That one Angel encounter, the first one, made everything I have ever been through worth it.  They say you are changed through grace, but not in the way you might think.  I am currently walking down my own yellow brick road and jotting some things down as I walk my own temple path.  If you’d like to follow along, keep coming back.

It never fails that every time I get sober, around year two or three, my life starts getting interesting.  I start knowing things, hearing things, seeing things… to be blunt, I start having what one might call paranormal experiences.

I’m clair-everything just not all the time.  More like sporadically.  I remember the first time I had a clairvoyant experience.  I was driving down the road and I had a flash of some pictures in my mind.  The pictures were of a row of yellow flowers in front of an iron fence with brick along the bottom and a golden retriever was walking by.  I drove on down the road for a bit, turned right onto a street and about half way down was the exact fence, flowers, and golden retriever I had seen in my mind.  I was like “wow”, “What was that?”.

Every time I get sober, these things begin to happen and sometimes I lean into them and sometimes I do not.  I recall doing a walk through in a friend’s new house and telling her I keep hearing kids playing.  I told her, “I think you’re going to have a lot of kids in this house.”  This was a LONG time ago and my friend got really mad at me and stopped taking to me.  Much later, I found out the reason she got mad was because she and her husband had been secretly trying to get pregnant and she thought I maybe knew or something.  Well, she did end up getting pregnant and having twins in that house!

I’ve also had experiences that I cannot explain.  Like a specific spirit (helpful one) that would always interrupt me when I was in a mental tail spin.  He would always do something crazy to interrupt my train of thought  and completely derail it.  One day I was in my bathroom and my neti pot was on my counter, against the wall and upside down with the top sitting on top.  Well, that top shot across the bathroom with such force that it bounced back across to the wall it came from and shot back across and fell on the floor.  And you know what?  I had zero recollection of what I was thinking about before this happened.  I should also mention this spirit was always kind enough to flash the jester poker card non-stop in the television in my mind so I knew it was him.  Another time he tossed my keys up in the air and had them land in front of me (they were deep inside my purse at the time) and again, I had no recollection of what I was worried about prior to the key throwing.  I actually miss having him around.  When things started happening again, (I have two years and two months) I hoped he would come back, but I have been told I don’t need him anymore and it is true.  I pre-empt my own thoughts now.  I literally cannot go down any rabbit holes, get too down on myself, my circumstances, or life.  I guess he did his job.  And trust me other things are taking his place.  My life is not boring right now.  I have multiple experiences a week, including what I perceive to be a ghost dog that walks across my bed some mornings!

This is my life, well, my paranormal life. And I figure it is time to seriously explore this part of me that just keeps popping back up and waving every time I am sober. Plus I have to admit that I enjoy it too.  The things that spook others don’t spook me at all, at least not any more.

I don’t know why I always forget this, but intentions are my magic.  They are my way of manifesting or creating something new.  I have the hardest time remembering this, but if I look back on my life, the times where I was very intentional and using intentions in a very purposeful way - these are the times worth remembering.  These are the times where things fell into place, good connections were made, and life felt like it was happening for me, instead of against me.

This year has been beyond tough on me.  I am at the end of my rope so to speak mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I’m more tired than I have ever been.  I feel like I operate on 3% battery all of the time.  I need some things to change, but those things cannot really change until some other things are taken care of and those things will not be taken care of until sometime next year and even then it will be a stretch for me to do what I feel like I must do to make things better for myself.  Did I mention I also seemingly live my life in a catch 22 all of the time?

Since I know I need change, but am not able to create that change at this moment, it dawned on me that my magic has always come from my intentions.  And so I wrote out a set of intentions for God and the Universe to work on, a set that God and the Universe can work on, a set that leaves the details up to the Creator of the Universe instead of me.


Intention 1 - Find My Purpose

Intention 2 - Find My Passion

Intention 3 - Find My Person


I feel like if I am going to keep existing, I need a reason to at this point and these three things are the missing ingredients in a life well lived and well loved.  Every night before I go to sleep I say these intentions aloud and every morning when I get up I say these intentions aloud.  I wrap these intentions around me.  And what has started occurring is 1000% what was never on my bingo card.  I’m reawakening. Synchronicities are everywhere around me.  1111 and 555 are all I see all day every day.  I’m waking up, but this time around I am not scared of it, quite the contrary, it feels like this is how it is supposed to be.  I want to rush forward, but I am told to be patient, and to continue walking down the yellow brick road.  There are things I need to learn and people I need to meet before the real change comes my way.

I am in a transition, an unfolding, a reawakening and this is only after the first month of determining my intentions and purposefully integrating them into my affirmations, prayers, and thought life.  I don’t know what else is in store, but I am definitely sticking with the yellow brick road this time.  I want to know where it leads and who I become in the process.

What do I want to write about?  I don’t know.  I got nada in my head.  Nada.  I got nada in my life right now too.  Nada.  I feel like I am slowly going insane with all of the nada happening right now.  There is too much nada, but this is how it has to be right now.

The weather is so hot and humid and thick and gross and I have been staying indoors.  Interesting thing is I’ve only had one migraine this summer and one vertigo attack this summer.  I am assuming it is due to the fact that I am staying inside and losing my mind.  My outdoors time rejuvenates my mind and my soul.  It also provides social time and has always been a way for me to make friends.

I am definitely struggling this summer.  Work is absolutely insane right now and I don’t make enough money to be putting up with this shit. It is partly par for the course in higher education.  Summer is always the time of year everyone jumps ship so to speak.  Throw in a restructuring and a lay off and well you have insanity.  I have had to basically recruit, interview, and hire for the entire Athletics department, a quarter of faculty across campus, and many staff for departments that are rebuilding, plus I have all those other day to day things I do that are just not getting done.  Good news is by middle of August everything should calm down.  Bad news is I have to continue this sprint until middle of August.

I really need my nature time, my social time, my go on a little trip time, but I don’t have any of that right now.  I am having to keep in mind that in 6 - 8 months I will be ready to blow this popsicle stand and hopefully enjoy a new little adventure both in career and in everything else.  I’m in the home stretch!  I keep screaming at myself.  The wait is going to be worth it I keep telling myself.  I mean I must have some good Karma coming my way, right?.

The movies lie don’t they?  So do books.  You always see characters hit the home stretch and BAM! Second Wind!  Renewed Strength!  Renewed Determination!  Of course you hear runners say this too and I was never that kind of runner either.  Maybe its just not in my blood to fight so hard.  Maybe I am more of a float on down the river and discover what I discover kind of person.  Nevertheless, I am staying the course and losing my mind in the process.

I’m really hoping for an early winter this year.  Or maybe I should say an early fall.  Here in the mid-south, it will be ugly, humid, and hot until middle of October.  I am really hoping that Old Man Winter pisses everyone else off and comes in early.  I need him!  I need to be back out on a trail, a path, a waterway…. And to do that I need the frying pan turned down a bit.

I don’t know.  This is probably why I have never really tackled all of my debt because to do so means this right here: doing nothing but work.  I need to change my scenery often.  I need to explore a city, a park, go see a show, go be a show…I need to live life and I will do so again… in 6 - 8 months.