I talked last month about being at peace in the midst of the storms and the unknowns life was throwing at me.  And I still have a lot of that peace, but I am finding that as changes come closer the more I lose my peace because my mind starts to swirl creating narratives that aren’t even real.  Maybe they once were, but they are not right now!  So why worry and stress myself out?

These days I find myself bouncing back and forth between peace and too stressed out to think, pray, or care about anything.  I find myself worrying about what’s going to happen when either I or my best friend gets a new job and departs.  I don’t want to be alone again without any friends to enjoy my weekends with.  The truth is myself and my bestie are looking for new jobs and both of us will depart on a new adventure sometime this year.  Yes, it would be fantastic if we both landed jobs in the same area, but I am not sure that we will.  She has her sights set on a very specific and expensive area and she has the means and some other characters to assist on her journey, whereas, I do not.  The entire time I have lived in Memphis I have done nothing but say goodbye to friends who move here and then depart a few years later (often the first chance they get). No one wants to stay.  I mean Memphis is even more transient than Los Angeles was!  In reality, I don’t want to stay either, but my story is more complicated.

This is something else that worries me.  Part of me thinks I should stay here and help my mom and the other part of me says if the right opportunity comes, I need to take it and make it work, wherever it is, because getting solid on my feet is the best thing I can do for myself and my family even if it means leaving an elderly parent.  The job market here is not good either.  There simply isn’t much here.

I also struggle with seasonal affective disorder.  This is a new thing.  I have never had it before in my life.  The last few years have been torture when it comes to winter with the worst being the year before last - I got so depressed I was suicidal and thank God we had an early spring that year and I mean I did a 180 as soon the days started getting longer and warmer.  Whew!  That was horrific. Last year and this year have not been as bad, more mild symptoms, I guess I can say, but still I have symptoms and I’d rather not.

I just don’t know.  It seems like the closer the changes come, the more anxious I become and the peace I have been enjoying is flying out the window.  Any performer, dancer, athlete, speaker… they all know that sometimes you just have to shut your mind off and go, get moving, do the thing and then your mind catches up and calms down.  But in this situation there is no get up and go so I have to work hard to just shut down the thoughts that cause me stress, turn the channel in my brain so to speak. I guess I have to let go a little more…

Things are changing, namely myself.  I am becoming someone else entirely and this new person is so unexpected and out of the blue!  The good parts of old me and the good parts of new me are colliding.  And I have to say I like who I am right now.  In fact, I love her.

This version of me is happy with herself and her life.  She is finding that she wants less and she wants to want less.  She is focused on the simple pleasures and the simple moments.  She is also focused on taking care of herself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially.  She is not searching for the perfect anything because she knows perfect does not exist.  She doesn’t even want a man!  She is sure it would be nice to grow old with someone, but she loves her space and her routines and she doesn’t need that anymore and for the first time in her life she 1000% okay if she stays single.  Just a few good girlfriends is all a girl really needs anyhow.

This version of me is unexpected because for the last couple of years I have been chasing and hoping for the exact opposite.  I wanted the right guy (with a good sized wallet), the right job (in a more exciting industry), the right city (somewhere on the west coast), but now I am happy as I am and with who and what I have.  I am more concerned with quality friendships, and a better job with better benefits in the new year.  That’s really all I am looking for in 2026.

Who knew the yellow brick road would lead me back to who I once was in many respects.  Nothing makes sense either.  I am more aligned than ever with my faith and people like me (sensitives with some psychic medium abilities) are not welcome in that faith and I don’t really care.  The yellow brick road has led me back to the church, back to wanting simplicity and a slower pace of life, and back to choosing my peace over everything else.

I am told I am aligning. My intentions over this past year have been the following:

• Live My Purpose
• Live My Passion
• Live with my Person

So maybe I am aligning with those first two intentions or maybe I am getting into the mental, emotional, and spiritual space to manifest or co-create those intentions in my life.

And it has not been all rainbows and sunshines either.  I am just at peace.  I am at peace even though I have been facing a new health scare (a second type of cancer that also wants to be stiff armed as I mosey through life) and racism and disrespect at work (I mean I don’t know what else to call it at this point - the President has doled out raises to practically everyone and rejected mine 3 times). It is time to go, but I can’t go right now because of said health scare.  As soon as I am able, I will start looking again, but this time I am okay if I end up staying right where I am for a few more years.  It’s not the end of the world.  I am at peace and I am open to what drops in my lap next.  I am no longer chasing, I am attracting whatever the next right thing for me is and I am okay with the not knowing.  It is time for me to relinquish control.

I have come to realize that energy affects me in ways I never really realized.  I mean I have always known that I can have trouble in really crowded places or in spaces like flea markets where there are a lot of items that have been passed around for years.  I had to actually run out of a flea market once because my antenna was just too full.  At least that’s what I thought at the time.  I’m sensitive.

I can hold two blades of grass in my hand and feel the vibrational difference between the two.  When I meet someone I know without a doubt if I like them or not.  I might not be able to tell you why I don’t like them, but I usually find out.   I can walk into a place and get vibes, mental pictures, hear things, etc.  Once when I traveled to the St. Louis area, I didn’t like the energy.   I could even feel when I crossed into a different energy plane so to speak and I literally hated the energy.  Luckily it was a short trip.  I haven’t been back to this city and I am curious to see if it feels the same way to me now, though I would need to go back to the same exact area I was before and I don’t remember where it was I went.

I was guided to start using a moon stone three times a day, placing it at my head, heart, and lower abdomen for 5 to 10 seconds each.  I was told this would help with my temper.  I followed the guidance not expecting much because nothing has worked with my temper, but you know what?  This worked!  It kind of floored me that perhaps energy I was collecting throughout the day was the cause of my temper.  As I have said before, I know I have  some psychic ability and some mediumship ability, but I still didn’t know or understand how much energy was affecting my day to day life until I started using the moon stone.  I am a completely different person now.  No amount of therapy would have ever helped me, because it was an energy thing that I didn’t understand and still don’t to be frank.  I just know the moon stone works and I continue to use it daily, as directed.

Something else I think the moon stone has helped me with is my addictive tendencies.  I am not kidding when I say I have zero desire for any mind altering or mood altering substances.  I don’t even use adaptogen drinks any more.  I actually don’t want anything mood or mind altering in my system.  It’s like the feeling it used to give has been erased from my mind and the only thing I remember is being held captive by the next feeling I was chasing.  Like what a horrible way to live.  I look at people now, regular people who are not addicts or alcoholics, but do drink or smoke or what have you and I feel sorry for them.  Whether they know it or not, they are chasing a feeling and I don’t want to ever chase anything again.  I don’t want to ever be in a situation where I need something to feel okay.  That’s not okay.

I don’t know that I am an empath although I share some of the affects like being overly emotional and thought of as stone cold by most.  What I do know and call myself is sensitive.  In my mind, I am aware of things that others aren’t, I can sense things that others can’t, I can hear things that others can’t, and I can see things that others can’t, just not all of the time.

I’m literally kicking myself right now, actually.  For the past couple of months, I have wanted to go to a particular store to see if they had some black Brighton sunglasses and I never went.  The feeling kept coming and unbeknownst to me, the 80 year old owner was closing the store and I would have gotten the sunglasses at 50% off.  I really need to listen more. I also need to pay more attention when spooky things do happen around me.  I need to turn on my radar (that’s what I call it) and investigate.  I think this is going to be my intention for 2026.  Last weekend, a friend and I went hiking and we had something walk up on us in the forest and I didn’t even think to try to sense, connect, see…  I just noted it and went on with my hike.  For 2026, I want to listen to the nudges, pay attention to what keeps coming to me, and when something spooky happens, acknowledge and investigate it.  And for the love of God and all living creatures everywhere, I will keep using my moon stone.  I had it for like a decade before I found out why I really bought it. I’m still dumbfounded by the change in my attitude and personality.  Who knew it was energy affecting me all this time.  It also makes me wonder if other people have similar problems and just don’t know it.
                                               As we say in church, Peace Be With You.✌🏻

There are two things I know for sure in this world: God exists and so does the devil.  How am I so sure of this you ask?  Well, I have had experiences with some very powerful angels and some experiences with some not very nice demons.  Both changed me.  And I’d take the demonic a million times over because that’s how I got to experience the presence of a very powerful angel.  I’ve actually had three angel encounters, but two of them left me with a feeling I can’t even describe and it stayed with me for days.  The only thing I can tell you is that there is nothing, no drug, no nothing on this planet that can compete with that feeling and I have to think if Heaven is even a smidgeon of what I felt well then, Heaven must be HEAVEN.  Like I said there are no words to describe, that feeling.  None.

I feel privileged, lucky, and sometimes fated to have felt these powerful beings and to have been the witness to a miracle in one of those instances.  I got to see prayer work in real time and I was the only one, in a large room full of people, who knew that an actual angel came as a response to a prayer.  I say fated because I am one of those wandering souls.  I am always wandering.  I am intellectual, spiritual, creative, and curious and my heart always wanders, but as a result of my experiences I always take one person with me: Jesus.  I have no doubt in His power.  These experiences have provided an anchor in my life.  No matter how far I wander I will always have Him with me.  I can’t not, actually.  I still have experiences of the negative kind and I have to call on His name often and He always answers with an Angel. Every single time.

I guess I needed this grounding, this protection, this boundary for I have quite a wild and wandering heart even if my life reflects the opposite.  I have always said I am quite the conundrum.  I live my life conservatively, but I am quite liberal in thought and creed. I honestly don’t know what would have happened to me without these experiences, without this knowledge and experience of Jesus really being the name above all names, the power above all powers.  Yes, I could have done without the negative, the demonic, the oppression and depression and aggression and addiction, but I wouldn’t have the Angel and trust me that one Angel made all of the difference.  That one Angel encounter, the first one, made everything I have ever been through worth it.  They say you are changed through grace, but not in the way you might think.  I am currently walking down my own yellow brick road and jotting some things down as I walk my own temple path.  If you’d like to follow along, keep coming back.

It never fails that every time I get sober, around year two or three, my life starts getting interesting.  I start knowing things, hearing things, seeing things… to be blunt, I start having what one might call paranormal experiences.

I’m clair-everything just not all the time.  More like sporadically.  I remember the first time I had a clairvoyant experience.  I was driving down the road and I had a flash of some pictures in my mind.  The pictures were of a row of yellow flowers in front of an iron fence with brick along the bottom and a golden retriever was walking by.  I drove on down the road for a bit, turned right onto a street and about half way down was the exact fence, flowers, and golden retriever I had seen in my mind.  I was like “wow”, “What was that?”.

Every time I get sober, these things begin to happen and sometimes I lean into them and sometimes I do not.  I recall doing a walk through in a friend’s new house and telling her I keep hearing kids playing.  I told her, “I think you’re going to have a lot of kids in this house.”  This was a LONG time ago and my friend got really mad at me and stopped taking to me.  Much later, I found out the reason she got mad was because she and her husband had been secretly trying to get pregnant and she thought I maybe knew or something.  Well, she did end up getting pregnant and having twins in that house!

I’ve also had experiences that I cannot explain.  Like a specific spirit (helpful one) that would always interrupt me when I was in a mental tail spin.  He would always do something crazy to interrupt my train of thought  and completely derail it.  One day I was in my bathroom and my neti pot was on my counter, against the wall and upside down with the top sitting on top.  Well, that top shot across the bathroom with such force that it bounced back across to the wall it came from and shot back across and fell on the floor.  And you know what?  I had zero recollection of what I was thinking about before this happened.  I should also mention this spirit was always kind enough to flash the jester poker card non-stop in the television in my mind so I knew it was him.  Another time he tossed my keys up in the air and had them land in front of me (they were deep inside my purse at the time) and again, I had no recollection of what I was worried about prior to the key throwing.  I actually miss having him around.  When things started happening again, (I have two years and two months) I hoped he would come back, but I have been told I don’t need him anymore and it is true.  I pre-empt my own thoughts now.  I literally cannot go down any rabbit holes, get too down on myself, my circumstances, or life.  I guess he did his job.  And trust me other things are taking his place.  My life is not boring right now.  I have multiple experiences a week, including what I perceive to be a ghost dog that walks across my bed some mornings!

This is my life, well, my paranormal life. And I figure it is time to seriously explore this part of me that just keeps popping back up and waving every time I am sober. Plus I have to admit that I enjoy it too.  The things that spook others don’t spook me at all, at least not any more.