Greetings from the Mid-South!

As I write this post, I am reminded of a Propel Women study I took part in at a previous church.  I believe the topic was time or timing or how to manage your time wisely… well, it was something along those lines.  The main thought I remember centered on the fact that you can have it all, just not all at the same time!  The conversation continued along the lines of seasons in life correlating to the accomplishments in one’s life.  Many people want to accomplish so many things like parenthood, career, service works, entrepreneurial endeavors, creative projects, ministry involvement and personal bucket list items.  The truth is that we can accomplish everything our hearts desire, however, the likelihood of accomplishing all of it at the same time is very slim.  For one thing, our lives would be an absolute mess, as would any of our relationships and friendships. We are not meant to do everything at the same time... But we are each meant to accomplish many great things.
 
I don’t know what it is about Memphis, but whenever I find myself here I find a current of creative energy.  I have only been here a couple of months and I already have several creative projects percolating.  I also have this sense of urgency to get things going, to start creating, to make something happen before it is too late; however, when I consult my God about my plans – He pulls back the reigns as if to say ‘slow up woman… It’s not time for that yet’. 
 
Knowing what season you are in makes all the difference in the world when it comes to being successful.  We all know that timing is everything and so it makes sense that knowing the calling on your life in this particular moment or season will make all the difference in your success right now and your success in any future endeavors.
 
As much as I want to plow ahead with some of the ideas I have percolating, I know that my current season is a time of preparation.  I am noting all that comes to mind for each project, but I am not working on those projects right now. I have no doubt that I will begin work on some of these projects in the new year, but for right now I am in an active preparation mode that includes writing exercises, scripture classes, small group leadership preparation and some research regarding how to move forward with projects that are yet to be named.
 
I feel an amazing momentum in my life even though the reality speaks volumes in the opposite direction… But like Martin Luther King Jr. said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, you just have to take the first step” and the rest of the steps will magically appear as you and God walk hand in hand to accomplish great things together.
 
Knowledge is everything.  If you know what your objective is in this moment, this season; then you can navigate your way to the next moment, the next season, the next project, the next accomplishment.
 
Happy Navigating!

As September rolls in here in the mid-south, I am reminded of some wisdom I once heard:  "The best way to find God’s will is to get moving.  If you try to plant yourself where He doesn’t want you – He will move you.”  I am taking this wisdom to heart.  I find it easy to become so overwhelmed with choice that I become paralyzed.  The fact that many of us have so many choices in life can create a temporary paralyses on our part in that we don’t know which way to go so we just decide not to decide and we stay stuck in our mess.  We do this with the small things and the big things in our life from what diet to follow to what career field to enter.  At least, I know I can have this problem.  I have a lot of different interests and talents and I sometimes find it hard to choose or when I do make a choice I find brick walls everywhere I turn.  Does this mean to turn back or plow through?  All I know is that I cannot continue to sit still.  I have to make a move and trust that if I make the wrong one – God will let me know or better yet, move me.
 
I have experienced this with churches I have tried to become a part of and cities I have tried to make a home base.  In both cases, I never quite fit.  In one of the churches for instance, I could not find a community.  I searched high and low and was involved in multiple groups, teams and service opportunities.  I was putting out all of this effort to belong and I was getting nothing in return.  I eventually realized I didn’t belong there and I moved on to a different church where my effort was minimal and the return was substantial.  I found my church and community and I did little to make it happen.  The same can be said with a recent city I inhabited.  It was on the coast and absolutely beautiful.  Prices were cheaper so I could actually afford a place with some sort of water view and the weather was around 80 degrees most of the year.  Problem was I could not find a life sustaining career or a good group of friends.  I tried very hard and became involved in countless groups, Meetups and churches only to have an almost zero return on my investment.  Nothing seemed to work in this beautiful place – It just wasn’t meant to be.
 
These last couple of months in Memphis have had me thinking that I should take that advice I heard all those years ago and just start making a home and see what God does in return.  I have become involved in a church, some Meetup groups and am job hunting like crazy inside and outside of Memphis.  I have a budget worked out and I know what I can accept to move and what I have to reject no matter how cool the job may be.  I am not wasting time.  I am enjoying where I am regardless of how long I might be here.  Besides, if I get moved I will have had some enjoyable experiences to carry me to the next place I land and if I get planted then I already have a head start on finding and making a home base here in Memphis.

Over the past month, my life came to a slow crawl.  I was having a harder and harder time getting up in the morning and was having a very hard time staying awake at work.  My workouts became smaller and smaller until they consisted of nothing more than relaxation yoga.  I was beat and I did not know why.  I had no symptoms except for extreme fatigue.  It’s crazy how sickness can creep up on us.  I never once thought something might be wrong.  I just assumed I was depressed, that it was my fault, that I hadn’t been sleeping well or eating well, that I had gained weight and that I am just dealing with unwanted feelings or extreme loneliness.  I just kept reasoning my fatigue away until it stopped me in my tracks.  I spent three days in bed and on the third day it dawned on me that something must be wrong and so I went to an urgent care facility and found that I had a bacterial infection.  Had I not gone to the doctor, I would have only gotten worse no matter how much I rested. 

During this time of barely living, my rear view mirror hopped off my windshield again.  I knew I needed to do something about it, but it was kind of nice just driving down the road, only concerned with what was ahead and not worrying about the guy in the truck behind me.  My attention was on the road in front of me and I was driving peacefully.  It occurred to me that this is how we are supposed to drive our lives, but many of us drive constantly looking in the rear view mirror.  We’re in front of it, we’ve moved around it, we’ve driven past it, but it still holds our attention. 

 While driving without my rear view mirror one sunny afternoon, it dawned on me that Jesus never meant for us to be concerned with what’s in our rear view mirror.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying we are not supposed to deal with what’s in our past.  What I am saying is that God never meant for us to obsess on it, contemplate it and bring it into our present over and over again.  I say this because if you look at how Jesus dealt with people in the Bible, He was the exact same with every person no matter what had happened to them or what they had done.  His words were same every time.  He simply said “Follow Me”.  It is a small sentence with life changing implications.  When He said “Follow Me” He was saying listen to my words, read my words, make my words and my deeds the center of your life and do as I do, speak as I do, love as I do, strive every day to be more like Me.  Follow Me.

 Jesus never condemned anyone no matter who they were or what they had become.  He simply said Follow Me.  Make Me your role model.  Jesus never mentioned anyone’s past, instead He called everyone forward.  I heard a sermon not too long ago where the pastor on stage, said that the devil calls you to your past so he can condemn you in your defeat, but the spirit of Christ always calls you forward to a better you and a better life.  Christ might make you aware of something He doesn’t want you doing because He wants better for you, but He never condemns.  The devil condemns us, fellow humans condemn us, but God never condemns any of us because He always sees what we can become if we Follow Him.

 The funny thing is most of us walk around condemning ourselves over and over and over again for things that don’t even exist in God’s mind.  He let them go a long time ago.  He is only focused on where He is taking us; we are the ones focused on where we have been.  I know that I keep pointing back to a decision I made several years ago where I adamantly refused to move in the direction God wanted me to and to this day I often wonder if that one decision ruined my entire life.  Thoughts like what if that was a once in a lifetime opportunity and now God will only let me wallow in crappy jobs?  What if my husband was in that city and I didn’t get to meet him so now I am going to be alone?  What if that career was going to be a launching pad for me to have a larger ministry and now I am going to die with a burning desire in my heart that was never fulfilled?   The problem with these kind of thoughts is that they totally disregard that the fact that Jesus always calls us forward and that if we follow Him to the best of our ability learning and growing as we walk through life with Him, He always leads us somewhere good.  He is not about condemnation, He is not concerned with our past – He is only concerned with where He is taking us because His plans for us never change.  Whatever He started in us, He will complete – if we follow Him and allow Him to work in and through our lives.  I know I have come full circle and find myself rather exhausted thinking it’s time to call it, that I’ve missed my opportunities, that I can’t possibly attain the vision I keep seeing for my life… But Jesus is looking at me saying “Jessica, I created that vision for you. I know how to get you there.  Just keep following Me.”