My Place in the Movie of My Life

I am a Rom-Com geek if there ever was one.  When I say Rom-Com, I am referring to the film genre of Romantic Comedy.  In fact, if a movie is not a romantic comedy, then I most likely have not seen it.  What can I say? I just love romantic comedies. 

If you are not familiar with this genre, I can enlighten you on the main plot points.  (Note: men can be leads in this genre, but to simplify things I am using the common female lead) We usually meet the lead character in a low point in her life.  She is usually single or in a bad relationship and she is usually battling some sort of career dilemma.  She almost always has some character flaws that need to be tweaked as well.  More often than not, the lead character will go through a small metamorphosis brought about by an external situation, whether it be a new job, a break-up, the marriage of a friend, the death of someone close, etc.  This small change usually brings about a determination to focus on what can be controlled in life, like a career or a long-standing passion that has been ignored.  Once the lead character is on this new journey, we see her begin to change on a deeper level as she struggles to make her dream a reality.  Sometimes the main character struggles so much, that she wants to give up, but she usually preservers thinking that this undertaking is all that she has left in life. 

I pause here because God recently made it very clear to me that this is where I am.  I feel lost.  I do not see anything changing on the career front or the personal front.  And so I have done the one thing I can do, and that is put my writing back on the front burner.  I mean, if God keeps telling me that my job is to write and that He will handle everything else; then I should write, right?

I cannot lie and say it has been all roses because it has been anything other than roses.  I have not been able to open a door much less a window and I cannot give an answer as to why this is the case. I am trying to count my blessings, but I am facing the grim fact that I might be spending a very hot summer in a condo without air conditioning.  I have been tossing around the idea of getting my own place, but after crunching numbers, I have come to realize that I can actually afford to be in the exact neighborhood I want to be in provided that I wait one year and pay off all of my debt.  Insert sad face here. 

I can say that I do have a decent day job with a laid-back company that has the high-class problem of growing by leaps and bounds.  This company also allows for flexibility as long as I am getting my job done and that is a major plus too. I know there are many more pluses in my life, but this whole not being fulfilled at work and wanting my own place and needing to make more friends and not being in a relationship and turning 34 in a couple of weeks and watching my chance to have my own family fade away and missing the family that claim me as their own and wanting a reason to be 2800 miles away other than the fact that I like it better than the South… all of it has really had me beat down this past month.  There were days I did not even get out of bed.  I was just in a deep depression.  Nothing in my life makes sense and on top of that, I have felt that I am in an answerless season.  A season where I just have to trust that everything I am doing right now is going to lead me somewhere good. 

During a recent bawling session, my Creator finally spoke.  His words were few, but they were powerful. My Creator, the ultimate screenwriter,  simply wanted to remind me that I have not arrived at the twist.  No, I am not talking about Chubby Checkers.  I am talking about the twist in plot that comes in every Romantic Comedy on the market.  You see just after loosing hope for the upteenth time and somehow finding a way to continue in some form an existence, the lead character encounters a twist of fate.  This twist of fate usually happens after the lead character has cleaned up some of her character flaws and started chasing whatever dream is in her heart.  This twist of fate can come in the form of a person, an opportunity or both.  The main thing you need to know about this twist of fate, this chance meeting, this divine appointment… is that it changes everything and instantly connects all of the dots. 

God was revealing my place in the movie that is my life.  He was letting me know that once I arrive at the twist, everything will make sense.  And I have to say that judging by my own decisions (the decision to get clean and sober, the decision to come back to God, the decision to make my writing a priority, the decision to be more aware of my attitude and make a moment by moment effort to be a light to those around me) all of these personal transformations point to one thing – the twist is on the horizon.  I know where I am in the script of my own romantic comedy and I have a peace and a joy that I cannot even explain.  Might I dare say, that I am HAPPY.

So the question I leave you with is where are you in your life script?  Wherever you believe you are, please do not forget that while you cannot control everything that happens, you can control the overall theme, tone and message of the script that is your life.

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