November, the month of Giving Thanks, Creating Families and most importantly the month of Jessica getting her groove back!

 
In case you are not aware – World Adoption Day is November 9th.  Hank Fortner, one of my Mosaic pastors started Adopttogether.org, a non-profit focused on helping beat the number one barrier to families looking to adopt – MONEY.  There are a lot of families out there that want to adopt, but simply don’t have $10K, $20K, $30K or even $40K sitting around to make the adoption happen.  This is where Adopttogether.org comes in and helps secure funding for families wanting to adopt through crowdfunding.  World Adoption Day is a day of celebration for both parents and kids who won big when adoption changed their lives.  World Adoption Day is also a day of awareness for adoption so please join us on Monday November 9th by posting a selfie with a smiley on your hand to spread awareness or to celebrate your own adoption story or that of a friend.
 
Halloween marks a year since I left Los Angeles and Thanksgiving marks a year since I have seen my mother and brother.  I am excited to be able to spend Thanksgiving weekend with them at the beach this year! We will be catching up while we enjoy the views from our beach-front balcony on Florida’s gulf coast.  I am very happy for this opportunity as I want very badly to be able to spend more time with them as well as a host of other people, but my finances are just in the way at the moment. 
 
As I have mentioned previously, I now feel that I came to a much-needed standstill here in Jacksonville.  It appears that I needed to slow down and take some time to heal internally, which is what has happened.  From Celebrate Recovery to Redeemed Esteem to many other confirmations God has laid in my lap over this past year – it appears I just needed a lot of internal healing and I now feel that I am beginning to come back to life.  My focus is returning, my productivity is returning and my overall energy is returning.  One could argue that I am beginning to dream again!
 
I would also like to note that this might have something to do with a recent change in my morning prayer! In addition to praying the lyrics of Hillsong’s “I Surrender”, I have started asking God to help me release my potential each and every day to the point that when I reach the end of this life, that I would not have an ounce of my God-given potential left.  It’s a bold prayer that I am not only praying for myself, but also for my mother and brother who are also dreamers with dreams in their hearts.  For it has come to my attention that one of my biggest problems is my inability to release my potential. In other words, my inability to take the God-given dreams in my heart, put them on paper and then transform them into reality.  I have the paper part down; it’s the whole transforming dreams into reality that seems to have had me stuck for far too long.  And it looks like this new prayer might be working!
 
To kick off November, I will be sharing my first full testimony at the Mandarin area CR on the 6th and am very excited for this opportunity.  I didn’t have a 20 minute testimony written upon the invitation, but I recalled a piece of advice I read from Seth MacFarlane that echoes countless other successful people both in entertainment and in ministry – that thought is this – when opportunity knocks, don’t hesitate, just say yes and figure out the how later! 
 
I am also moving forward with a new project that God placed on my heart during Hillsong weekend here in Jax.  I am calling it Hillsong weekend because I went to Hillsong Nights on Saturday and went and heard global founder, Brian Houston speak at Celebration on Sunday morning.  He spoke on dreams and dreamers and God breathed a new project into my soul that very day.  I have been reluctant to start work on it because as with anything God gives you – it is bigger than I am and I don’t feel I can do it all alone, but I am not meant to – I am meant to create it piece by piece with my Creator.  It’s not supposed to be my thing, it’s supposed to be Our thing!  I have the outline for the steps that need to be taken and am working on step one for the remainder of this year.  I am really excited and really terrified, but I think all creators feel this way when embarking on a new project so I guess I am in good company.
 
I am also ready to get back in gear career-wise.  I know I cannot stay at my current employer as the money nor the interest is there so I am back on the hunt for a good opportunity, but this time around I have a confidence in myself, my passion and my abilities that I did not have previously.  It definitely changes the opportunities I look at and how I approach them and with any luck I will be in a new and better situation soon!  With any luck I will begin to see a little of that restoration from Joel 2:25, the life verse God has given me which reads “… He will restore all the years the locusts ate away…” which I am taking to mean that God plans on restoring all of the things I missed out on while I was caught up in my addiction, depression and self-torture and I for one, can’t wait to see what He is going to do! Er’ I can’t wait to see what We’re going to do!
 
I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don’t forget to reach out to any singles, widows or flat broke folks that might be spending the holiday alone unless you invite them to spend it with you!

Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for surely he will receive it.

I have to admit I have been upset lately.  I desperately want to move into a different part of the entertainment industry, but have suffered repeated failures.  I have been on at least 15 interviews where I was labeled a “top candidate” only to have the door slammed in my face.  This past month I happened upon two amazing production coordinator opportunities that would have had me in creative meetings with writers, directors and producers on a daily basis.  Oh, the things I could have learned and the money I could have earned!  Sadly, after two more great interviews with great feedback, I came up empty handed yet again.  It just sucks.  I purposely put all of my energy into a job blitz because I knew once the end of January came, I would be busy most week nights and unable to devote time to job hunting.  What’s more is that I am really feeling the nudge from above to get back into my writing which takes more time away from the little time I have to job hunt.  I am one frustrated soul right now.

The word expectation has been coming up a lot recently.  In AA, I have been told you need to make a list of what you want to accomplish in sobriety and share it with your higher power.  I have been told by friends that I must create a bucket list and share it with God so that He and I can work together to mark off all the things I want to see, do and experience while I am on planet earth.  In a mission-training group for which I am taking part, I was told the opening quote and made to list expectations for this training and subsequent mission trip. I will tell you right now that I do not like having expectations due to the fact that my expectations are not usually found in my reality. 

Having said this, a Soul’s Goals class I took through The Daily Love came to mind.  In this class I learned that it is one thing to set goals and expectations for your life and quite another to set realistic goals and expectations.  And then there is the fact that you have to keep resetting these goals as you move through life experiencing what is working and what is not working or as the goals themselves begin to morph into new goals and expectations.  It is with this in mind that I took a look at my life goals and expectations and decided that it was my focus that needed to change.  My job hunting is going to have to be set on the back burner and it is my writing that will be set on the front burner for 2014.  This does not mean that I am going to stop putting effort into finding and obtaining a learning opportunity in TV or Film; it just means that I cannot allow it to be my focus any longer.  It is time to create, it is time to prepare for my own creative venture and if I obtain a better paying and more creative day job in the process – well then that’s just icing on the cake.  This city has tried to kick me out several times, but I know I came here for a reason and I am not leaving until I can tell all of you about the real reason I moved half way across the country and settled in the city of angels.