JESSICA LYNN LEE
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New Year, New Life?

1/1/2014

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Well, it seems as though 2014 is going to be another year full of change.  I say this due to the fact that my current landlord gave me notice the day after returning from Christmas vacation.  This has to be the absolute worst time to have to dig up two months worth of rent, but I trust that everything will work out – at least most of me does.  I recall that when I first found out – a whole four days ago – I got excited because whenever I have been placed in an almost impossible situation that could be my “end” it is these times that God tends to do some amazing things.  In my life, at least, it seems to be His calling card.  Impossible situation that should destroy me usually means God is about to do something major and it always involves major change too.  So I am trying to stay excited and not dwell on the whole what if I don’t find a place in time scenario. 

Apart from that chaos, I am transitioning to a new volunteer position at my local church due to several reasons that will remain with me just in case anyone from the church reads this blog.  Oh, all right, I’ll tell you this much: it is similar to my living situation only there was never an actual notice given.  All in all, I think it is best because I continually butt horns with someone involved in my old position and I frankly don’t need any additional stress, in fact, that’s the one cup I can say is abundantly overflowing these days.

As far as work goes, I am still employed by the Encoding House and have been promised an end of year bonus (would seriously come in handy if it came this week) and a decent pay increase.  Even so, I am still looking for a new position that is closer to my industry career goals and am hopeful that wherever I land house-wise, will be convenient to wherever I land career-wise. 

As for 2014, I do have some resolutions:

Set 1 = resolutions that can be measured and accomplished

1)     Finish paying off my debt and don’t restack it
2)    Set up sole proprietorship
3)    Set up social media for said company
4)    Make my writing a priority again

Set 2 = resolutions that are easier said than done and measured by others

1)     Do my best in all situations regardless of how I feel
2)    Keep God first
3)    Make the best of things instead of the worst of things
4)    Obedience, Obedience, Obedience

Obedience is not a word people are into these days.  Nobody wants to be obedient anymore.  It is a My world, My life, My Decision, My want, my need, my whatever.  We don’t want to even consider the fact that we really aren’t the ones in control or that Someone Else might know better and I am just as bad as all of you. 

During one of my focused quiet times where I worship, meditate, read God’s word and plead for Him to talk to me – I asked why He always seems to give immediate answers when it comes my sobriety and my tithing, but stays silent on all IMPORTANT matters.  His response was unwelcome and completely silenced me and it was this: I lead; you obey.  It’s not your world, It’s MINE.  I mean how do you respond to that?  You don’t. 

God is teaching my Taurus butt to obey because it is His world and He is my Creator and Sustainer and He does know better than you and I ever could, yet you and I constantly try to rewrite the plan and try to explain why it would be better our way.  How He puts up with us I will never know, but I am glad He does.  Heck, these days He doesn’t even get mad at me.  He just touches me on the shoulder and says “Really?” and I just stand there like a two year old who just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar, glancing from jar to parent waiting to see if this is a reprimand situation, a go-to-your-room situation or a get-the-belt situation.  I recall reading an interview from Zachary Levi’s earlier days when He was much more apt to speak on his faith.  In this interview he mentions asking God why things weren’t moving forward with his acting career.  God’s answer, he said, was that God needed to know that He could trust Zac with the blessings He was ready to give him.  That he (Zac) had some changes to make in his personal life before such blessings could be bestowed.  I believe this to be true for all of us.  God is just trying to prepare you and me for the awesomeness He has in store, but before He can bless us, He has to know that He can trust us with His blessings, that we are ready and equipped for proper action and this is where most of us fall short – we get mad when things aren’t going the way we want them to and fail to ready ourselves for the blessings that God has set aside for each of us.  How sad indeed.  So, to make a long post even longer, I guess you can say that my main goal for 2014 is to make sure God knows that I am finally ready to be readied because the last thing I want to do in Heaven is go through all of the gifts God wanted to give me, but couldn’t.


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